When we are born, we are still in close contact with great spiritual wisdom and power through our core being. This connection with our core and thus with spiritual wisdom and power gives us the feeling of complete security and we perceive the world in amazement.
During the maturation process this connection becomes weaker and weaker. It is replaced by the voices of parents who want to protect us and give us security. They speak of right and wrong, good and bad, tell us how to make decisions and how to act or react in a given situation.
While the connection to the core of being is weakening, the child's psyche tries desperately to replace its originally innate wisdom with a functioning ego. Unfortunately, the superimposed or internalized parental voices are never really able to replace the essence connections. What is created instead is the mask self.
The mask self is our first attempt to put us right. With the mask self we try to make ourselves acceptable in a world from which we fear rejection.
We present the world with a mask that is shaped according to what we think is acceptable in the world so that we are accepted and feel safe. The mask self seeks connection with others on the basis of what is considered "right"; but it cannot establish a deep connection because it denies the true nature of the personality. It denies our fear and negative feelings.
We are doing our best to create this mask, but it doesn't do what it says on the tin. The mask never succeeds in creating the inner feeling of security that we so long for. Instead, we experience the mask inside as something imposed because it tries to prove that we are good, but that we are not always good. We feel like cheaters and we get even more scared. So let's try harder. We use our best to prove that we are good (according to the internalized parental voices). That in turn creates more fear, especially because we can't keep the masquerade going all the time. We are caught in a vicious circle and the feeling of being fake and the fear are growing.
The intent of the mask is to protect us from a world imagined as hostile by proving that we are good. The purpose of the mask is pretense and denial. It denies its intention to cover up pain and anger because it denies that pain and anger exist in the personality.
The intent of the mask is to appreciate the self by not taking responsibility for negative actions, thoughts or feelings.
From the mask's perspective, pain and anger exist only outside of the personality. We do not take any responsibility for it. Whatever negative happens must be someone else's fault. There is always someone we can blame. That means it has to be someone else who is angry or in pain.
The only way to maintain this masquerade is to keep trying to prove that we are the good guys.
Inside, we defend ourselves against the constant pressure to be good. We create this pressure on ourselves. We try to obey the rules or, if we don't, we try to prove that we are right and the others are wrong. We resent inwardly that we have to live by another's rules. It is very troublesome. We actually want to do what we feel like doing. We get tired, we get angry and angry, we become indifferent and reckless, we let our negative feelings run free, we complain and blame ourselves.We hurt others The energy that we try to hold inside through the mask nevertheless finds its outlet and goes to the collar of others. And of course we deny that too, because we have to prove that we are the good guys in order to feel safe.
We also enjoy breaking out somewhere. Letting the energy run free brings relief, even if it is not clear and straightforward and we give up our self-responsibility in the process. Part of us enjoys dumping our negativity on another.
This is called negative pleasure. Its origin is the lower self.
Source: light healing
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